So I love this word “Grace”. I hear this word and I instantly feel a slightly bit calmer because I remember that everything is unfolding as it should. I remember that I don’t have to control or force a situation, that things happen as they should. And if I choose to force a situation, it becomes my agenda, feeling contrived and, well, controlled. If I can remember to relax into a situation and that I don’t have to force an outcome that I THINK how it should be, that it almost always works out just fine. But, on the flip side, there are times that it is ok to voice my opinion or say what is on my mind. As for my relationship with my husband, I find myself making suggestions and then letting go of what he is going to do. A lot of times, he picks a different way of doing something, and most times it works our fine and even better. But sometimes, my way would have been better, if he only listened to me. Right? But really, my husband needs to do it his way and I will do things my way. I don’t have to orchestrate his life for him, all I have to do is observe.
So how can you tell the difference between “grace” and “force”. First of all, if you are tied to the outcome, you may be forcing the situation. If you feel anger inside when the other person doesn’t do it your way, then you may be forcing the situation. And of course, this is tied to the proverbial who is right and who is wrong and how important it is for you to be right. I’ve let go of being right but sometimes it would be nice to be acknowledged of being right. It is tied to my confidence sometimes. But in the big picture, this is all learning and growing as a human and how we can let go of being right, forcing or controlling situations. Michael Bernard Beckwith talks about being in “flowmotion” which says there is a flow to life. That sometimes it is good to be a leaf in a river and to just let things unfold as they should. Many times, when I think something should go my way, and it goes another, first, I didn’t think of this other way and it felt better, and I also didn’t have to do anything. It unfolded like it should have unfolded.
So next time you are trying to force a situation, stop and wonder if maybe there might be another way unfolding that you haven’t thought of right then. Ask yourself the question, is this grace or force?